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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative i

작성자: 황*하
2021-08-05 358

회원님의 영작문

It has been pointed out that using sports affairs to promote their products is a common measure for a huge number of large firms. Some individuals argued that it is detrimental for the development of sports. I don't agree with this idea as trends help not only advancing sports itself but also organizations for each sports. First of all, sports players are able to get many benefits from supported companies and more sports fans will be increased because if the products are attracted to people, more people want to get it and then they will be interested in sports related with brands. In addition, sports clubs need to trade their players every years that need huge amount of money. Most sports clubs are based on the city and people in its city are willing to be a fan because sports players are represent their city. If there aren't supports from the sponsors, clubs are not able to buy the best players for their fans. These are all beneficial for both sides but I agree that there is adve

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there Mr. Hwang! I envy you because you'll have your summer vacation soon! I want to have it too! kkk Enjoy the time then! See you Wednesday!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It has been pointed out that using sports affairs to promote their products is a common measure for a huge number of large firms.
>>> CORRECT
 Some individuals argued that it is detrimental for the development of sports. 
>>> CORRECT
I don't agree with this idea as trends help not only advancing sports itself but also organizations for each sports.
>>> CORRECT
 First of all, sports players are able to get many benefits from supported companies and more sports fans will be increased because if the products are attracted to people, more people want to get it and then they will be interested in sports related with brands.
>>>  First of all, sports players are able to get many benefits from supporting companies and more sports fans will be increased because if the products are attractive to people, more people want to get it and then they will be interested in sports related with brands.
 In addition, sports clubs need to trade their players every year that need huge amount of money. 
>>> CORRECT
Most sports clubs are based on the city and people in its city are willing to be a fan because sports players are represent their city.
>>> Most sports clubs are based on the city and people in its city are willing to be fans because sports players represent their city.
 If there aren't supports from the sponsors, clubs are not able to buy the best players for their fans. 
>>> CORRECT
These are all beneficial for both sides but I agree that there is adve...
>>> CORRECT
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