¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house once you have a job? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*Àº
2021-08-05 212

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I need to move. I want to be free.😊

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Emma! ^^

Moving away from home is considered a milestone in one¡¯s life, an event that clearly marks the stepping out of childhood into maturity and designates the beginning of an independent, self-reliant life. Once you move out of your parents¡¯ house, you will have the liberty to make your own choices and enjoy the lifestyle you¡¯ve always wanted for yourself. However, you will also have the responsibility to provide for your own needs, to find a way out of every difficult situation you encounter, and to create a life for yourself that is vibrant, progressive, and genuinely fulfilled.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think I need to move.
>> CORRECT

 I want to be free.😊
>> I want to be free and independent. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110025 Why do some people like to spread rumors? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 1
110024 Regional education office under fire for planning class on... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 0
110023 What do you do if someone grabs your purse or backpack? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 1
110022 Do you have a color that you hate? If so, what is it and why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 1
110021 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 188
110020 Beauty is eye of the beholder ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 219
110019 How would you like to be assisted when you get some problems... ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 192
110018 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 0
110017 If you are going to make a song, what would it be about and who... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 276
110016 home work on July 13 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
110015 Any city ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
110014 Have you ever heard of any juvenile crime in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
110013 ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 271
110012 Do you re-apply from the company you applied to before? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 194
110011 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
110010 Is it necessary for teachers to undergo mandatory drug screening? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 203
110009 What is your opinion about the government¡¯s delay of imposing... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 174
110008 Have you gone to a conference on behalf of your boss? Give... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 198
110007 Homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 189
110006 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 215

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04