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영작교정 게시판

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Some feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys attending while others feel the gend

작성자: 황*하
2021-08-06 184

회원님의 영작문

There are two type of schools which are single-sex school and mixed-sex school in my country. I believe that both schools have benefits for students. On the one hand, Students who attend a single-sex school can focus on their class and develop specific skills more because most young people are interested in opposite sex. In addition, teachers don't need to consider to both gender. It allows teachers to concentrate to educate their students. On the other hand, some experts would argue that mixed schools provide better education to their pupils. Students are able to learn socializing with different genders and it definitely help students construct their personality before being adults. Women and men have different strength in specific area for instance, men are usually talented in science and math, whereas women are good at languages. If they attend the same school, both can be the complementary relationship. In conclusion, I think mixed school can be more beneficial for students.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ It's your summer vacation! Enjoy swimming with your family. 
>>> TACHER GEMMA
There are two types of schools which are single-sex school and mixed-sex school in my country.
>>> CORRECT
 I believe that both schools have benefits for students.
>>> CORRECT
 On the one hand, Students who attend a single-sex school can focus on their class and develop specific skills more because most young people are interested in opposite sex. 
>>>  On the other hand, students who attend a single-sex school can focus on their class and develop specific skills more because most young people are interested in opposite sex. 
In addition, teachers don't need to consider both genders.
>>> CORRECT
 It allows teachers to concentrate to educate their students.
>>> CORRECT
 On the other hand, some experts would argue that mixed schools provide better education to their pupils. 
>>> CORRECT
Students are able to learn socializing with different genders and it definitely helps students construct their personality before becoming adults. 
>>> CORRECT
Women and men have different strength in specific area for instance, men are usually talented in science and math, whereas women are good at languages.
>>> CORRECT
 If they attend the same school, both can be the complementary relationship.
>>> CORRECT
 In conclusion, I think mixed school can be more beneficial for students.
>>> CORRECT

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