¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-08-06 233

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:Can you think of a device that makes people's lives easier?
A:I can think of device that cleans home and wash dishes or do other house chores.
First, I think many people think house chores is annoying thing, so if there is device that do house chores then people's lives will be easier.
Second, if there is device that do house chores, then people can do another thing when they should have been doing their house chores.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I can think of device that cleans home and wash dishes or do other house chores.

>> I can think of a device that cleans homes, washes dishes, or does other house chores.
First, I think many people think house chores is annoying thing, so if there is device that do house chores then people's lives will be easier.

>> I think a lot of people think house chores are annoying, so if there is a device that does house chores then people's lives will be easier.
Second, if there is device that do house chores, then people can do another thing when they should have been doing their house chores.

>> If there is a device that does house chores, then people can do other things when they should have been doing their house chores.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110429 How can you become happy again when you are sad? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110428 yes day2 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 376
110427 yes day ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 626
110426 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 389
110425 I love doing step by step~! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 535
110424 Where do you read the news every day? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110423 What do you think is the most important subject? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 256
110422 How do you treat a cold? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 326
110421 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 259
110420 How do you handle conflict in work? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 3
110419 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 5
110418 home work on July 30 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110417 eat ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 349
110416 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 3
110415 2nd homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 2
110414 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110413 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 281
110412 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 0
110411 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 412
110410 Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04