¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government about the homeless people on the streets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-08-06 640

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country, Korea, there are very few homeless people in the streets, and I've never seen homeless people in Korea.
But if there are a lot of homeless people in the streets, I think the goverment have to educate them.
They can't earn the money because they don't ahve any chance about getting job or earning money.
And the reason that they can't get the chance is they don't know any knowledge or technologies.
And if they want to learn those kinds of studies or skills, they have to learn about it.
But they don't have any money, so they can't learn any studies or skills that can make them to get the chance.
So I think if goverment educate them or give a chance that can study something, they will be able to do something or get a job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

There¡¯s never a good time to lack shelter, but the return of cold weather presents particular challenges for people experiencing homelessness. The sight of someone on the street in fall and winter compels us to make an effort to help. But it can be difficult to know how to make the greatest impact. Your suggestion is great!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my country, Korea, there are very few homeless people in the streets, and I've never seen homeless people in Korea.
>> In my country, Korea, there are a few homeless people on the streets. I actually have never seen homeless people here. 

But if there are a lot of homeless people in the streets, I think the goverment have to educate them.
>> But if there was, I think the government should educate them. 

They can't earn the money because they don't ahve any chance about getting job or earning money.
They can't earn the money because they don't have any chance to get a job or earn money. 00

And the reason that they can't get the chance is they don't know any knowledge or technologies.
>> The reason why they can't get a job is because they don't have enough knowledge  nor have any technologies. 

And if they want to learn those kinds of studies or skills, they have to learn about it.
>> If they want to learn these skills, they have to study it. 

But they don't have any money, so they can't learn any studies or skills that can make them to get the chance.
>> They might not have any money so they might not be able to do so. 

So I think if goverment educate them or give a chance that can study something, they will be able to do something or get a job.
>> So I think the government should educate them or give them a chance to study. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112601 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 479
112600 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 549
112599 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 803
112598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112597 Homework [10/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 451
112596 Are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 549
112595 Are there any problems with jellyfish or sharks at your local... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112594 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 453
112593 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112592 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 589
112591 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 396
112590 Why is language important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112589 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 504
112588 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 510
112587 How are you being honest with yourself? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112586 Korea deliver servies ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 531
112585 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 410
112584 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 600
112583 How do you understand this: ¡°When in Rome, do as the Romans... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 492
112582 my favorite things ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 484

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04