¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government about the homeless people on the streets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-08-06 245

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think government has to provide temporary shelters. Because they can carry disease. And they are also vulnerable to various disasters.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^

There¡¯s never a good time to lack shelter, but the return of cold weather presents particular challenges for people experiencing homelessness. The sight of someone on the street in fall and winter compels us to make an effort to help. But it can be difficult to know how to make the greatest impact. Your suggestion is great!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

I think government has to provide temporary shelters. Because they can carry disease. 
>> I think government has to provide temporary shelters because they can carry disease. 

And they are also vulnerable to various disasters.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110467 How do you think can the culture in Korea be preserved for many... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 287
110466 What is success for you? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 7
110465 ^^ ÃÖ*Çâ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 0
110464 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 271
110463 Who is a successful person that you admire and why? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 403
110462 How do you avoid arguments? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 307
110461 What is your busiest day of the week? Why? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 279
110460 How would you describe your country¡¯s food? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 285
110459 What is happiness for you? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 262
110458 Colerpaiper Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 291
110457 middle school students ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 263
110456 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 5
110455 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 203
110454 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 3
110453 3rd homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 316
110452 What vegetables do you eat? ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 256
110451 Why rising coffee prices won\'t change what you pay for... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110450 What is are differences between education in Korea and education... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 0
110449 Why do you want to attend our school? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 456
110448 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04