¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government about the homeless people on the streets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-08-06 252

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think government has to provide temporary shelters. Because they can carry disease. And they are also vulnerable to various disasters.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^

There¡¯s never a good time to lack shelter, but the return of cold weather presents particular challenges for people experiencing homelessness. The sight of someone on the street in fall and winter compels us to make an effort to help. But it can be difficult to know how to make the greatest impact. Your suggestion is great!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

I think government has to provide temporary shelters. Because they can carry disease. 
>> I think government has to provide temporary shelters because they can carry disease. 

And they are also vulnerable to various disasters.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110378 Difference between Korean education and overseas education ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 313
110377 dish ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 336
110376 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 291
110375 Hailey\'s bucket list¢½ Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 503
110374 Unknown in universe. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 272
110373 Hi kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110372 What is your favorite subject to study in school? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 386
110371 My ideal vacation ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 267
110370 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 430
110369 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 320
110368 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 405
110367 Travel 2 ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 7
110366 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110365 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 340
110364 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 328
110363 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 0
110362 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 372
110361 I want to study Mars when I become a astronaut! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 302
110360 Get in touch ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 3
110359 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 216

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04