¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Çã*¿¬
2021-08-09 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowdays, few people spend time to enjoy their hobbies. I believe that the problem is related to some reasons. First of all, I think that because people have to earn money for their future, people have no enough time to devote. For example, my brother also works even for the weekend. Since he has a dream to be an actor, he earns the money for attending an academy that helps him to be an actor. Second, I believe that the covid-19 also has effects on that. To be safe, people should stay their home. This make people not enjoy their hobbies.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ji Yeon!  Thanks you for your thoughts about this issue. 
T. Irene
Nowadays, few people spend time to enjoy their hobbies. 
>>> Correct. 
I believe that the problem is related to some reasons. 
>>> I believe there are some reason to this. 
First of all, I think that because people have to earn money for their future, people have no enough time to devote. 
>>> First of all, I think that because people have to earn money for their future, people have not enough time to devote for their hobbies. 
For example, my brother also works even for the weekend. 
>>> For example, my brother also works even on the weekends. 
Since he has a dream to be an actor, he earns the money for attending an academy that helps him to be an actor. 
>>> Since he has a dream to be an actor, he needs to earn money for attending an academy that will help him to be an actor. 
Second, I believe that the covid-19 also has effects on that. 
>>> Second, I believe that the covid-19 also had an effect on how people enjoy their hobbies. 
To be safe, people should stay their home. 
>>> To be safe, people should stay in their homes. 
This make people not enjoy their hobbies.
>>> This makes people not enjoy their hobbies.




¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111605 importance of goal setting. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-04 315
111604 Do you enjoy traveling? Why? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 2
111603 Nowadays, computers are vital to modern peoples\' life ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 342
111602 My car ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111601 What women\'s law related to the article do you want to be made... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 331
111600 ielts task 1 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 552
111599 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 354
111598 Kate :) ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 5
111597 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 385
111596 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 400
111595 30 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 866
111594 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 346
111593 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111592 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 493
111591 Living Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 388
111590 Inviting Someone ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 505
111589 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 3
111588 South Korea alert against lambda variant, toughens measures... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111587 Do you agree that money can ruin a relationship? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 313
111586 what I will wear in the beach ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04