¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Çã*¿¬
2021-08-09 444

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowdays, few people spend time to enjoy their hobbies. I believe that the problem is related to some reasons. First of all, I think that because people have to earn money for their future, people have no enough time to devote. For example, my brother also works even for the weekend. Since he has a dream to be an actor, he earns the money for attending an academy that helps him to be an actor. Second, I believe that the covid-19 also has effects on that. To be safe, people should stay their home. This make people not enjoy their hobbies.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ji Yeon!  Thanks you for your thoughts about this issue. 
T. Irene
Nowadays, few people spend time to enjoy their hobbies. 
>>> Correct. 
I believe that the problem is related to some reasons. 
>>> I believe there are some reason to this. 
First of all, I think that because people have to earn money for their future, people have no enough time to devote. 
>>> First of all, I think that because people have to earn money for their future, people have not enough time to devote for their hobbies. 
For example, my brother also works even for the weekend. 
>>> For example, my brother also works even on the weekends. 
Since he has a dream to be an actor, he earns the money for attending an academy that helps him to be an actor. 
>>> Since he has a dream to be an actor, he needs to earn money for attending an academy that will help him to be an actor. 
Second, I believe that the covid-19 also has effects on that. 
>>> Second, I believe that the covid-19 also had an effect on how people enjoy their hobbies. 
To be safe, people should stay their home. 
>>> To be safe, people should stay in their homes. 
This make people not enjoy their hobbies.
>>> This makes people not enjoy their hobbies.




¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110361 I want to study Mars when I become a astronaut! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 370
110360 Get in touch ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 3
110359 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 453
110358 My name\'s meaning is Galaxy! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 504
110357 21/07/28 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 825
110356 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 431
110355 Length ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 407
110354 What is one most memorable celebration in your life? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 499
110353 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 4
110352 Do you think global warming is caused by our pollution? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 3
110351 What are the pros and cons of both husband and wife working? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 421
110350 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 487
110349 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110348 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2021-07-28 673
110347 Why Older People Find It Harder to Taste Food À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110346 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 509
110345 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 2
110344 Is making eye contact important in your culture? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110343 How much do usually spend for you gadgets? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 456
110342 What has changed in your life since last year? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 505

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04