¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2021-08-10 167

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Finland is eco-friendly nation. It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy. It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.
Helsinki is best environment city. The city¡¯s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality. So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.
I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering. So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering. It is why I applied this country.
Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

*please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kang!

Thank you for letting me check your script.  I hope you read the corrections as well. ^^


-T. Maine


Finland is eco-friendly nation.

>>Finland is an eco-friendly nation.

It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy.

>>It is considered to have the 6th grade of energy in the transition index, so it is one of the best nations which is changing to the usage of low carbon energy.

It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.

>>It has many infrastructures which are collaborated with the environment. It has an eco-friendly policy, too.
 Helsinki is best environment city. The city¡¯s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality.

>>Helsinki is the best environmental city.  The city's goals are sustainable to life and carbon neutrally.

So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.

>>Most of the places, as well as the citizens are for the proctection of the environment.
 I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering.

>>I need to gain more knowledge and skills to be an expert in environmental engineering.

So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering.

>>So I want to learn how people live in sustainable lives as well as advance my understanding in environmental engineering.

It is why I applied this country.

>>That's why I choose this country to study.
 Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

>>Moreover, Finland's education system has many team projects which are helpful to improve my skills and develop myself.



 *please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110585 What do you think would happen if there was only one language in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 148
110584 What is the most challenging part of your job? What is the most... Çã*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 159
110583 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 138
110582 Large companies use sports events to promote their products.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 142
110581 How do you manage your anger? What do you do? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 151
110580 6th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 4
110579 HELLO Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 178
110578 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 159
110577 My thinking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110576 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 174
110575 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 151
110574 More about Telling the time ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 138
110573 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 3
110572 21/08/04 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 149
110571 Time is Money È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 7
110570 Homework 3 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110569 Homework 2 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110568 Homework 1 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110567 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 151
110566 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 171

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04