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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script

작성자: 이*현
2021-08-10 264

회원님의 영작문

Finland is eco-friendly nation. It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy. It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.
Helsinki is best environment city. The city’s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality. So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.
I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering. So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering. It is why I applied this country.
Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

*please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Kang!

Thank you for letting me check your script.  I hope you read the corrections as well. ^^


-T. Maine


Finland is eco-friendly nation.

>>Finland is an eco-friendly nation.

It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy.

>>It is considered to have the 6th grade of energy in the transition index, so it is one of the best nations which is changing to the usage of low carbon energy.

It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.

>>It has many infrastructures which are collaborated with the environment. It has an eco-friendly policy, too.
 Helsinki is best environment city. The city’s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality.

>>Helsinki is the best environmental city.  The city's goals are sustainable to life and carbon neutrally.

So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.

>>Most of the places, as well as the citizens are for the proctection of the environment.
 I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering.

>>I need to gain more knowledge and skills to be an expert in environmental engineering.

So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering.

>>So I want to learn how people live in sustainable lives as well as advance my understanding in environmental engineering.

It is why I applied this country.

>>That's why I choose this country to study.
 Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

>>Moreover, Finland's education system has many team projects which are helpful to improve my skills and develop myself.



 *please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.



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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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