¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2021-08-10 283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Finland is eco-friendly nation. It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy. It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.
Helsinki is best environment city. The city¡¯s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality. So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.
I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering. So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering. It is why I applied this country.
Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

*please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kang!

Thank you for letting me check your script.  I hope you read the corrections as well. ^^


-T. Maine


Finland is eco-friendly nation.

>>Finland is an eco-friendly nation.

It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy.

>>It is considered to have the 6th grade of energy in the transition index, so it is one of the best nations which is changing to the usage of low carbon energy.

It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.

>>It has many infrastructures which are collaborated with the environment. It has an eco-friendly policy, too.
 Helsinki is best environment city. The city¡¯s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality.

>>Helsinki is the best environmental city.  The city's goals are sustainable to life and carbon neutrally.

So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.

>>Most of the places, as well as the citizens are for the proctection of the environment.
 I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering.

>>I need to gain more knowledge and skills to be an expert in environmental engineering.

So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering.

>>So I want to learn how people live in sustainable lives as well as advance my understanding in environmental engineering.

It is why I applied this country.

>>That's why I choose this country to study.
 Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

>>Moreover, Finland's education system has many team projects which are helpful to improve my skills and develop myself.



 *please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110174 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110173 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 325
110172 How do you control your anger? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110171 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110170 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 472
110169 My parents never force me to \"do this, you have to do this\". ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 358
110168 Do you have food that you hate? If so, what is it and why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110167 Tuesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 410
110166 Monday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 457
110165 7/19 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 463
110164 7/20 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 469
110163 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3
110162 IELTS test question Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110161 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 382
110160 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 388
110159 Friday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 500
110158 Homework ¿ì*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 425
110157 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 455
110156 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110155 Page 34 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04