¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2021-08-10 287

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Finland is eco-friendly nation. It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy. It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.
Helsinki is best environment city. The city¡¯s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality. So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.
I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering. So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering. It is why I applied this country.
Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

*please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kang!

Thank you for letting me check your script.  I hope you read the corrections as well. ^^


-T. Maine


Finland is eco-friendly nation.

>>Finland is an eco-friendly nation.

It has 6th grade of Energy transition index, so It is one of best nations of transition into low carbon energy.

>>It is considered to have the 6th grade of energy in the transition index, so it is one of the best nations which is changing to the usage of low carbon energy.

It has many architecture which is collaborated around environment. It has many eco policy too.

>>It has many infrastructures which are collaborated with the environment. It has an eco-friendly policy, too.
 Helsinki is best environment city. The city¡¯s goals are sustainable life and carbon neutrality.

>>Helsinki is the best environmental city.  The city's goals are sustainable to life and carbon neutrally.

So It has many place for that, and the citizens have eco- friendly life too.

>>Most of the places, as well as the citizens are for the proctection of the environment.
 I need to have a sense of duty to be an expert about environment engineering.

>>I need to gain more knowledge and skills to be an expert in environmental engineering.

So I want to learn this life ways as well as advanced environmental engineering.

>>So I want to learn how people live in sustainable lives as well as advance my understanding in environmental engineering.

It is why I applied this country.

>>That's why I choose this country to study.
 Moreover, Finland education system has many team projects. I can carry out the activities smoothly.

>>Moreover, Finland's education system has many team projects which are helpful to improve my skills and develop myself.



 *please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make more fluently each sentence.
*I don't know how to write conclude sentences.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110090 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 0
110089 What kind of qualities do you look for in a friend? Why? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 796
110088 the worst problem ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 509
110087 What can be the oldest person or thing you have ever seen? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1
110086 Page 27 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 446
110085 Why do you think is it harder for old people to accept change? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 464
110084 I have a dream. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 464
110083 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 610
110082 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 508
110081 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 476
110080 What do you do if someone grabs your purse or backpack? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 415
110079 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 523
110078 What do you think is the reason why the number of COVID-19 cases... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 339
110077 Why do you think is it harder for old people to accept change? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1
110076 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 388
110075 If you are going to make a song, what would it be about and who... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 0
110074 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 4
110073 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 624
110072 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 430
110071 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 370

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04