¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purpose

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-08-11 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't understand why most websites want users to put their personal information regardless of the type of business. I can provide it to a bank because it deals with money for customers so they need to identify customer's information every step. However, I don't think portal sites have to confirm user's ID when they want to join it because it's just search engine, there aren't potential harm to users and providers too. The government have implemented the different type of identification system due to the complexity of joining websites and inconvenience of installing various firewall programs. People have experienced to install those programs. Most of them spent a lot of time to install it and have been encountered difficulties because of many reasons like program problem itself, hardware and users' skills. I know that privacy have to be first things whose company consider but they also are needed to care the user's convenience too. I think that it would be good to use smart phone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! Happy Thursday! How are you doing? I hope you're doing  great. Well, I'm hungry now... hahaha See you tomorrow!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't understand why most websites want users to put their personal information regardless of the type of business. 
>>> CORRECT
I can provide it to a bank because it deals with money for customers so they need to identify customer's information every step.
>>> I can provide it to the bank because it deals with money for customers so they need to identify the customer's information in every step.
 However, I don't think portal sites have to confirm user's ID when they want to join it because it's just search engine, there aren't potential harm to users and providers too. 
>>>  However, I don't think portal sites have to confirm user's ID when they want to join on it because it's just a search engine, there aren't potential harms to users and providers too. 
The government have implemented the different type of identification system due to the complexity of joining websites and inconvenience of installing various firewall programs. 
>>> The government has implemented the different types of identification systems due to the complexity of joining websites and inconveniency of installing various firewall programs. 
People have experienced to install those programs. 
>>> People have experienced installing those programs. 
Most of them spent a lot of time to install it and have been encountered difficulties because of many reasons like program problem itself, hardware and users' skills.
>>> Most of them spent a lot of time to install it and had encountered difficulties because of many reasons like program problem itself, hardware and users' skills.
 I know that privacy have to be first things whose company consider but they also are needed to care the user's convenience too.
>>>  I know that privacy had to be the first thing whose company consider but they're also needed to take care of the user's convenience too.
 I think that it would be good to use smart phone.
>>> I think it would be better to use smart phone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111986 What do you do to clarify something with your boss if he is... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 636
111985 Please write your thoughts about the popular statement,... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 546
111984 What factors influence a carreer choice? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 1
111983 Do you think you would be able to help your parents if you moved... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 959
111982 Homework ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 600
111981 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 650
111980 What are the hardest sounds (letters) for you to pronounce?... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 593
111979 IELTS speaking ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 5
111978 What is the best shopping experience you\'ve had? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 492
111977 What is you unforgettable dating experience? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111976 Maybe....June? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 559
111975 What are the traditional things that Koreans do during Chu Seok? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 464
111974 Sleeping ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 470
111973 page 62 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 509
111972 [Homework] What period of history would you like to go back and... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111971 page 53 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 572
111970 9.14 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111969 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 720
111968 life without cell phone ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 505
111967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04