¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purpose

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-08-11 483

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't understand why most websites want users to put their personal information regardless of the type of business. I can provide it to a bank because it deals with money for customers so they need to identify customer's information every step. However, I don't think portal sites have to confirm user's ID when they want to join it because it's just search engine, there aren't potential harm to users and providers too. The government have implemented the different type of identification system due to the complexity of joining websites and inconvenience of installing various firewall programs. People have experienced to install those programs. Most of them spent a lot of time to install it and have been encountered difficulties because of many reasons like program problem itself, hardware and users' skills. I know that privacy have to be first things whose company consider but they also are needed to care the user's convenience too. I think that it would be good to use smart phone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! Happy Thursday! How are you doing? I hope you're doing  great. Well, I'm hungry now... hahaha See you tomorrow!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't understand why most websites want users to put their personal information regardless of the type of business. 
>>> CORRECT
I can provide it to a bank because it deals with money for customers so they need to identify customer's information every step.
>>> I can provide it to the bank because it deals with money for customers so they need to identify the customer's information in every step.
 However, I don't think portal sites have to confirm user's ID when they want to join it because it's just search engine, there aren't potential harm to users and providers too. 
>>>  However, I don't think portal sites have to confirm user's ID when they want to join on it because it's just a search engine, there aren't potential harms to users and providers too. 
The government have implemented the different type of identification system due to the complexity of joining websites and inconvenience of installing various firewall programs. 
>>> The government has implemented the different types of identification systems due to the complexity of joining websites and inconveniency of installing various firewall programs. 
People have experienced to install those programs. 
>>> People have experienced installing those programs. 
Most of them spent a lot of time to install it and have been encountered difficulties because of many reasons like program problem itself, hardware and users' skills.
>>> Most of them spent a lot of time to install it and had encountered difficulties because of many reasons like program problem itself, hardware and users' skills.
 I know that privacy have to be first things whose company consider but they also are needed to care the user's convenience too.
>>>  I know that privacy had to be the first thing whose company consider but they're also needed to take care of the user's convenience too.
 I think that it would be good to use smart phone.
>>> I think it would be better to use smart phone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111879 What makes someone beautiful in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-12 1
111878 Foreign friends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-12 1
111877 If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-12 456
111876 How can we be heroes today? Think of some practical ways that we... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-12 658
111875 I like to go back to when I was 6 years old! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 449
111874 Hunted, Haunted 0.0! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 653
111873 Homework 2021.9.1 ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 773
111872 Who is your favorite athlete? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 533
111871 Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 485
111870 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 570
111869 please open the pile and revise the passage in the pile~ ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 599
111868 9.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 0
111867 My opinion about eating healthy ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 445
111866 . °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 5
111865 What were your favorite foods growing up? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 438
111864 Hi kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111863 What do you think would your life be when you retired? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 424
111862 Do you think the emotion of hate will ever disappear from humans? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 436
111861 Fish is the hardest animal to take care ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 449
111860 I\'m happy!~~~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 528

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04