¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s learning? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-08-12 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, I don't think that the piano lessens are that much important to student but there are a lot of adventages if students learn the piano.
We can join piano with our friends and in fact, we can develop our brain as well.
If we are playing piano, almost time we have to move our hands differently so we can develop our brain.
And also nerve of hands and brain is connected so playing piano can develop our brain more smarter.
So I think we don't have to learn the piano but if we do, we can get a lot of adventage.
So if there is someone who is thinking about learning the piano or not, I want to recommand learning the piano to him.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Learning to play an instrument can help your child fine-tune her ear and enhance skills needed for education and social interaction. It develops physical skills. It also cultivates social skills. It refines discipline and patience. By learning about and playing a variety of instruments, kids can discover how music plays a critical role in other cultures. It has many benefits. :) Although it should be a personal choice and not mandatory. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Actually, I don't think that the piano lessens are that much important to student but there are a lot of adventages if students learn the piano.
>> Actually, I don't think that the piano lessons are that much important to students  but there are a lot of advantages if students learn how to play it. 

We can join piano with our friends and in fact, we can develop our brain as well.
>> We can play piano with our friends and in fact, it can help develop our brain as well. 

If we are playing piano, almost time we have to move our hands differently so we can develop our brain.
>> 
If we are playing the piano, we have to move our hands in different ways. With this, it can help use develop our brain. 

And also nerve of hands and brain is connected so playing piano can develop our brain more smarter.
>> 
And also, the nerves of our hands and brain is connected. With this, it can make us smarter. 

So I think we don't have to learn the piano but if we do, we can get a lot of adventage.
>> 
So I think we don't have to learn how to play it  but if we do, we can get a lot of advantage.

So if there is someone who is thinking about learning the piano or not, I want to recommand learning the piano to him.
>> So if there is someone who is thinking about learning the piano or not, I want to recommend it to them. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110133 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 312
110132 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110131 People these days watch TV, films and other programs alone... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 274
110130 Hi~ James~ ^^ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110129 What do you need to get used to doing now? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 298
110128 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110127 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110126 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 258
110125 When I can\'t asleep. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 3
110124 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 275
110123 Korea Struggles to Contain Coronavirus Surge À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110122 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 0
110121 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110120 Fire and firefighter ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 326
110119 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110118 Homework 7.16 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 845
110117 home work on July 15 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110116 How do you keep yourself away from the dangers of disaster? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 1
110115 Homework (309) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 307
110114 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 248

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04