¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think going to different academies is important for student\'s learning? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-08-13 450

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think going to different academies is not that important for student's learning.
In this world, there are a lot of great men and a lot of great men didn't go to the school or different academies.
But the great men or a lot of scientists succeeded and it is proving that academy is not a necessary thing for a succeeding.
And the great men are humans same as us so we can succeed or do something like the great men or great scientists.
So In my opinion, I think going to different academies is not that important for student's learning.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

I think this is beneficial for students in terms of preparing for the universities that they are gonna go to in the future. But this can also lessen the time to enjoy you childhood since you would be studying most of the time. It has both advantages and disadvantages. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think going to different academies is not that important for student's learning.
>> CORRECT

In this world, there are a lot of great men and a lot of great men didn't go to the school or different academies.
>> In this world, there are a lot of great men who didn't go to school or different academies.

But the great men or a lot of scientists succeeded and it is proving that academy is not a necessary thing for a succeeding.
>>Although a lot of great men and scientist succeed because they went to academies but still, it is not necessary to succeed. 

And the great men are humans same as us so we can succeed or do something like the great men or great scientists.
>>Great men and women are also humans. We can also do what they can do to succeed. 

So In my opinion, I think going to different academies is not that important for student's learning.
>> So in my opinion, I think going to different academies is not that important for student's learning.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112402 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 368
112401 Describe a movie that inspired you the most. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1317
112400 9.30 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112399 How can stress be good or helpful to us? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 594
112398 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 475
112397 Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 536
112396 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 525
112395 My opinion: the most difficult place to survive;DESERT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 410
112394 How close are you to your extended family? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 828
112393 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112392 HOMEWORK: Do you have a favorite actor? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112391 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 828
112390 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 824
112389 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 450
112388 25 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 457
112387 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 411
112386 20210930 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 380
112385 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 848
112384 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 425
112383 Writing correction -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 487

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04