¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-08-15 399

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to receive a perfume and money. Because I love perfumes and I want to select many perfumes. Moreover, also money can be used to buy somethings that I need and have to get.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^

When we celebrate someone's birthday we're not only celebrating the length of their life, but we celebrate how much they've grown in the past year. Birthdays are important because they give everyone a day to feel special and see how much those around them love them. Gifts are essential parts of birthdays. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to receive a perfume and money. Because I love perfumes and I want to select many perfumes. 
>>I want to receive perfume and money because I love perfumes and I want collect more. 

Moreover, also money can be used to buy somethings that I need and have to get.  
>>Moreover, money can be used to buy other things that I need and have to get.  

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112332 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 376
112331 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 412
112330 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112329 Homework {09/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 458
112328 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112327 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 393
112326 If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112325 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 693
112324 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112323 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 4
112322 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 5
112321 What do you miss most about your life preCOVID19? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 388
112320 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 468
112319 Do children learn bad habits at school or at home? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112318 Computer ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 498
112317 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 493
112316 what will I do in my free time with my friends ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 464
112315 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 418
112314 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112313 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04