¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

¼÷Á¦

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ºñ
2021-08-16 175

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'd like to have a powerrek The reason is that l want to exercise at home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yu Bi! ^^

When we celebrate someone's birthday we're not only celebrating the length of their life, but we celebrate how much they've grown in the past year. Birthdays are important because they give everyone a day to feel special and see how much those around them love them. Gifts are essential parts of birthdays. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I'd like to have a powerrek
>>I'd like to have a power trek.

 The reason is that l want to exercise at home.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110930 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 5
110929 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110928 I enjoyed to learn an english Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 204
110927 My favorite place is... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 7
110926 Do you agree with the idea of less consideration about the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110925 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 173
110924 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 168
110923 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 161
110922 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 146
110921 Writing task: Are there any values that your parents tried to... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110920 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110919 Fila and Nike is so Pretty!!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 145
110918 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 180
110917 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? Kindly explain it. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110916 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 143
110915 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 135
110914 What do yo think should be changed in your city and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110913 What do yo think should be changed in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 331
110912 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 198
110911 What is a good way to encourage those who don\'t like to be... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 309

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04