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What is a good way to encourage those who don\'t like to be vaccinated to get their vaccine?

작성자: 정*우
2021-08-16 570

회원님의 영작문

One of the important reason for people who don't want to be vaccinated is their anxiety regarding to the safety of vaccination. When the government started to vaccinate general people beyond the medical workers, many news media started to broadcast about the side effects of vaccination such as thrombosis, myocarditis and pericarditis. I believe that such the news makes people feel anxiety about the vaccination and hesitate it. There are some people who suffer from mild side effects like fever or nausea after the vaccination, and really few people who suffer from serious side effects. However the news articles tend to exaggerate the riskiness of vaccine. Therefore, to encourage people who don't like to be vaccinated to get their vaccine, government needs to try to correct the widespread misunderstanding of vaccination.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there Vicky!

You are right, the government needs to constantly reiterate that the benefits outweigh the minimal side effects of the vaccines. Everyone knows that this is the pandemic and we are in a dire situation wherein survival is more important than anything.

The economy may suffer momentarily but we cannot bring back the lives of our loved ones when they die of this virus. Anyway, I am so happy to read your thoughts about my question. You have very good organization, choice of words, and minimal grammar mistakes. 

Keep up the good work!

-T. Donna =) 

One of the important reason for people who don't want to be vaccinated is their anxiety regarding to the safety of vaccination. 
>> One of the important reasons for people who don't want to be vaccinated is their anxiety regarding to the safety of the vaccine. 

When the government started to vaccinate general people beyond the medical workers, many news media started to broadcast about the side effects of vaccination such as thrombosis, myocarditis and pericarditis. 
>> Correct!

I believe that such the news makes people feel anxiety about the vaccination and hesitate it. 
>> I believe that such news makes people feel anxiety about the vaccination and hesitate. 

There are some people who suffer from mild side effects like fever or nausea after the vaccination, and really few people who suffer from serious side effects.
>> Correct!

However the news articles tend to exaggerate the riskiness of vaccine. 
>> However the news articles tend to exaggerate the riskiness of the vaccine. 

Therefore, to encourage people who don't like to be vaccinated to get their vaccine, government needs to try to correct the widespread misunderstanding of vaccination.
>> Therefore, to encourage people who don't like to be vaccinated to get their vaccine, the government needs to try to correct the widespread misunderstanding of the vaccination.
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