¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do yo think should be changed in your city and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-08-16 347

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Usually in a city, there are a lot of bullyings in a school, so I think the culture of bullying must be changed in my city and my country.
In Korea, there are a lot of bullyings and they are more common than the other country.
So I can watch or hear a lot of newses of bullyings in a school.
And I think this culture have to be changed in my country by ourselve for a lot of students and a lot of schools.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Korean society has undergone a major transformation since 1960 and is still changing. There has been a lot of improvements in terms of technology but still, it has taken a toll on the environment. Population as well has been changing drastically. That's why the government should do something about it. :) Your suggestion is great and I think a lot will benefit from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Usually in a city, there are a lot of bullyings in a school, so I think the culture of bullying must be changed in my city and my country.
>>Usually in a city, there are a lot of cases of bullying in schools, so I think the culture of bullying must be changed in my city and my country.

In Korea, there are a lot of bullyings and they are more common than the other country.
>> In Korea, there are a lot of bullies in our country than other countries.
or
>>This is very common in Korea. 

So I can watch or hear a lot of newses of bullyings in a school.
>> So I can watch or hear a lot of news about bullying in schools. 

And I think this culture have to be changed in my country by ourselve for a lot of students and a lot of schools.
>> 
And I think this culture should be changed in my country by us for the sake of students on schools. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111092 What is the hardest thing to cook? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 6
111091 Why do some people love eating spicy food? Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 206
111090 Do you like to travel to work or to enjoy? Share your answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 999
111089 8.20 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 2
111088 53 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 193
111087 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 271
111086 49 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 581
111085 I agree with that ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 183
111084 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 0
111083 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 0
111082 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 224
111081 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 1
111080 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 272
111079 Page 48 and 53 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 232
111078 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 338
111077 Homework {08/20} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 230
111076 Who is taller? ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 177
111075 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 3
111074 Homework📓 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 484
111073 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 219

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04