¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you avoid stress and negative thoughts? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-17 520

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. I usually dance and exercise really hard. While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Vicky!

Relieving yourself from stress is a must. At your young age, with your work and responsibilities, there are so many expectations from you and you have to keep yourself energized and highly motivated. You get tired and overwhelmed sometimes, thus, taking care of your mental health is one thing, you have to be keen about.

Your composition below have very few suggestions. I think that by now, you can edit your own written output and that is a very important skill in writing. Thank you for sending me this answer. It is very well made. ^^

-T. Donna =)

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. 
>> Correct!
Or: thoughts

I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 
>> I try to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 

I usually dance and exercise really hard. 
>> Correct!

While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. 
>> Correct!

If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.
>> Correct!
OR: If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in the hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget about the annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. 
>> Correct!

Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. 
>> Correct!

Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. 
>> Correct!

I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113661 What do you do to stay healthy? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 3
113660 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113659 My siblings ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113658 Is your personality suited to your job? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113657 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 418
113656 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 480
113655 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 465
113654 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113653 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113652 Punctuality ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 540
113651 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 3
113650 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113649 What is the best public transport to you? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 829
113648 What I do in spring and summer ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 445
113647 job ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 359
113646 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113645 Tell me about your favorite food. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 540
113644 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 410
113643 Korea\'s big problem ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 474
113642 What do you like most about teaching? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04