¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you avoid stress and negative thoughts? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-17 494

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. I usually dance and exercise really hard. While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Vicky!

Relieving yourself from stress is a must. At your young age, with your work and responsibilities, there are so many expectations from you and you have to keep yourself energized and highly motivated. You get tired and overwhelmed sometimes, thus, taking care of your mental health is one thing, you have to be keen about.

Your composition below have very few suggestions. I think that by now, you can edit your own written output and that is a very important skill in writing. Thank you for sending me this answer. It is very well made. ^^

-T. Donna =)

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. 
>> Correct!
Or: thoughts

I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 
>> I try to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 

I usually dance and exercise really hard. 
>> Correct!

While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. 
>> Correct!

If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.
>> Correct!
OR: If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in the hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget about the annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. 
>> Correct!

Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. 
>> Correct!

Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. 
>> Correct!

I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112983 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 388
112982 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112981 Do you like eating out in a restaurant? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 384
112980 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 603
112979 How do you see yourself 5 years from now? Share your thoughts in... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 498
112978 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 692
112977 I want to change this in Korean culture. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 445
112976 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112975 Dinosaurs ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 476
112974 Have you ever been in a difficult situation while traveling? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112973 how to help friends ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 408
112972 What was your dream job? Why did you like it? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 460
112971 Do you think people who have cosmetic surgery are always happy... Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 433
112970 What is the hardest part about parenting ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 417
112969 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 403
112968 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 546
112967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112966 homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 466
112965 wealth ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 2098
112964 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 423

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04