¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you avoid stress and negative thoughts? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-17 457

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. I usually dance and exercise really hard. While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Vicky!

Relieving yourself from stress is a must. At your young age, with your work and responsibilities, there are so many expectations from you and you have to keep yourself energized and highly motivated. You get tired and overwhelmed sometimes, thus, taking care of your mental health is one thing, you have to be keen about.

Your composition below have very few suggestions. I think that by now, you can edit your own written output and that is a very important skill in writing. Thank you for sending me this answer. It is very well made. ^^

-T. Donna =)

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. 
>> Correct!
Or: thoughts

I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 
>> I try to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 

I usually dance and exercise really hard. 
>> Correct!

While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. 
>> Correct!

If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.
>> Correct!
OR: If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in the hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget about the annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. 
>> Correct!

Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. 
>> Correct!

Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. 
>> Correct!

I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112122 Make 3 sentences each for EDIBLE and POTABLE. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-20 1
112121 page 20 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-19 406
112120 about of my favorite soccer player ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-19 1030
112119 What item do you love to shop? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 520
112118 What values are important to your family? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 1
112117 What is the longest friendship that you have had? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 1
112116 9.17 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 1
112115 How has inflation affected you? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112114 Why English is hard??????? ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 416
112113 page 12 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 498
112112 My Parents\' Job ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 370
112111 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 588
112110 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 415
112109 What do you do when you are running low with money? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 2
112108 5 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 445
112107 65 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 445
112106 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 426
112105 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112104 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112103 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 550

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04