¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you avoid stress and negative thoughts? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-17 223

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. I usually dance and exercise really hard. While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Vicky!

Relieving yourself from stress is a must. At your young age, with your work and responsibilities, there are so many expectations from you and you have to keep yourself energized and highly motivated. You get tired and overwhelmed sometimes, thus, taking care of your mental health is one thing, you have to be keen about.

Your composition below have very few suggestions. I think that by now, you can edit your own written output and that is a very important skill in writing. Thank you for sending me this answer. It is very well made. ^^

-T. Donna =)

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. 
>> Correct!
Or: thoughts

I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 
>> I try to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 

I usually dance and exercise really hard. 
>> Correct!

While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. 
>> Correct!

If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.
>> Correct!
OR: If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in the hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget about the annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. 
>> Correct!

Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. 
>> Correct!

Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. 
>> Correct!

I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110144 It\'s my life ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 259
110143 Thursday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 269
110142 Wednesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 242
110141 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2021-07-19 183
110140 Tuesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 328
110139 My hobby. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110138 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 218
110137 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110136 30 page ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 211
110135 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 225
110134 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 248
110133 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 302
110132 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110131 People these days watch TV, films and other programs alone... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 260
110130 Hi~ James~ ^^ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110129 What do you need to get used to doing now? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 279
110128 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110127 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110126 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 258
110125 When I can\'t asleep. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04