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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you avoid stress and negative thoughts? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

작성자: 정*우
2021-08-17 374

회원님의 영작문

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. I usually dance and exercise really hard. While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Vicky!

Relieving yourself from stress is a must. At your young age, with your work and responsibilities, there are so many expectations from you and you have to keep yourself energized and highly motivated. You get tired and overwhelmed sometimes, thus, taking care of your mental health is one thing, you have to be keen about.

Your composition below have very few suggestions. I think that by now, you can edit your own written output and that is a very important skill in writing. Thank you for sending me this answer. It is very well made. ^^

-T. Donna =)

I usually avoid stress and negative thought by refreshing myself. 
>> Correct!
Or: thoughts

I tried to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 
>> I try to do my hobbies that I really enjoy. 

I usually dance and exercise really hard. 
>> Correct!

While dancing, I have to focus on every motion, so I cannot think about any other worries and problems I have. 
>> Correct!

If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget annoying things.
>> Correct!
OR: If I feel stressed about irritating patients, or feel bad about any situation in the hospital, I always make sure to dance and try to forget about the annoying things.

I try to forget the stressful situations intentionally by thinking that it is too bad to waste my time by focusing on stress and negative thoughts. 
>> Correct!

Since I usually work a lot and do not have much time to rest, I consciously try to spend my resting time meaningfully and pleasantly. 
>> Correct!

Mostly, such stress and negative thoughts do not get solved by just thinking about them. 
>> Correct!

I always think like this and try to spend my time valuably, which makes me avoid the stress and negative thoughts consequently.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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