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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I think there is a limit to revealing your individuality!

작성자: 김*랑
2021-08-17 482

회원님의 영작문



Michael said, we just want to decorate ourselves more, and we don't want to wear uncomfortable uniforms. However, showing their individuality, want to wear, decorating, and doing whatever they want are all things that can do when we become as an adult. Even if you show your individuality and decorate to your heart’s content, only your friends will recognize you. Teachers, parents, and the adults around me all seem to look after me, but no one seem to like it. Of course, it cannot be that showing individuality is a bad thing. It's because there aren't only people who are bad for showing their individuality. However, if the word showing this individuality interferes with your studies and disturbs your school life, I don't think it will be appreciated.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Maria!

Thank you for recasting the thoughts of Michael. Showing your individuality or your own 'style' definitely can be done once you become older. For now, while being young, enjoy first wearing the uniform that all of your friends are also wearing because someday, you will miss wearing it.

A job well done here on your homework, keep it up!

-T. Donna =)

Michael said, we just want to decorate ourselves more, and we don't want to wear uncomfortable uniforms. 
>> Correct!

However, showing their individuality, want to wear, decorating, and doing whatever they want are all things that can do when we become as an adult. 
>> However, showing their individuality, wanting to wear, decorating, and doing whatever they want are all things that can be done when they become an adult. 

Even if you show your individuality and decorate to your heart’s content, only your friends will recognize you. 
>> Correct!

Teachers, parents, and the adults around me all seem to look after me, but no one seem to like it. 
>> Correct!

Of course, it cannot be that showing individuality is a bad thing. 
>> Correct!

It's because there aren't only people who are bad for showing their individuality. 
>> It's because there aren't only people who are bad at showing their individuality.  

However, if the word showing this individuality interferes with your studies and disturbs your school life, I don't think it will be appreciated.
>> However, if the world showing this individuality interferes with your studies and disturbs your school life, I don't think it will be appreciated.
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