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영작교정 게시판

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In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home? Wha

작성자: 황*하
2021-08-18 421

회원님의 영작문

Most people in Korea would like to have their own house because of it's price changes every moment. Renting and buying house both have benefit to people. On the one hand, there are many advantages renting house because people need to pay huge money for buying it. Its price fluctuation makes people anxious because they can't expect how the price changes in the future. People have concern what if they buy the apartment on the top price. If people rent a house, they don't need to worry about taxes and the cost of maintenance. It is better choice to rent a house for some who works around the country or wants to study in the better environment. On the other hand, having a house gives a sense of personal achievement. A house is a permanent asset and it's price raises as time goes by. Furthermore, owner can rent a house that would be the steady source of earning and there is no need to move out frequently. Besides, owner can construct and design their house on the way they like.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

DELIGHTSOME DAY TO YOU MR. HWANG~! ^^
The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.  Keep learning!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Most people in Korea would like to have their own house because it's price changes every moment.
>>> CORRECT
 Renting and buying house both have benefit to people.
>>>  Renting and buying a house are both beneficial to people.
 On the one hand, there are many advantages renting house because people need to pay huge money for buying it.
>>>  On the other hand, there are many advantages about renting a house because people need to pay a huge amount of money to buy it. 
 Its price fluctuation makes people anxious because they can't expect how the price changes in the future. 
>>> CORRECT
People have concern what if they buy the apartment on the top price.
>>> People are concerned about buying the apartment on the top price.
 If people rent a house, they don't need to worry about taxes and the cost of maintenance.
>>> CORRECT
 It is better choice to rent a house for some who works around the country or wants to study in the better environment.
>>>  It is better to choose to rent a house for some who work around the country or want to study in a better environment.
 On the other hand, having a house gives a sense of personal achievement.
>>> CORRECT
 A house is a permanent asset and it's price raises as time goes by.
>>> CORRECT
 Furthermore, owner can rent a house that would be the steady source of earning and there is no need to move out frequently. 
>>>  Furthermore, the owner can rent a house that would be a steady source of earning and there is no need to move out frequently. 
Besides, the owner can construct and design their house on the way they like.
>>> CORRECT
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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