¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

ielts task 1 bar graph

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*±¸
2021-08-18 399

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



the chart shows the percentage of internet users by age group in canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018.

The amount of online shopping rises in every age group as four years passed, especially in the 35~45 group. They are the only group to reach over 35% in the chart.
In 2014, group 26~35 was the highest of all, but lost their first place to group 35~45.
In contrast, group over 65 was the lowest in both year, not reaching over 15%

Moreover, all age group increases their online shopping range for four years. In age group 35~45, almost 10% has added and reah the highest point of all the groups in 2018. In other hand, 26~35 group was slow, not more than 3%. While in group over 65, they reah lowest two times but the rate increases almost double from 7% to 12%.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Ian!

It is so great to finally see you here on the composition page! Your IELTS writing answer is very systematic. Even if I cannot see the chart clearly, I think that you have been able to highlight the most important details and discuss them fully below. Remember that you may not necessarily place all of the data or numbers in your discussion. All you need to emphasize is the salient parts or the most obvious discrepancies found in this chart.

Congratulations for this output! I hope to read more of your answers soon. See you in class!

-T. Donna =)

the chart shows the percentage of internet users by age group in canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018.
>> The chart shows the percentage of Internet users by age group in Canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018.

The amount of online shopping rises in every age group as four years passed, especially in the 35~45 group. 
>> The amount of online shopping rose in every age group as four years passed especially in the 35~45 age group. 

They are the only group to reach over 35% in the chart.
>> Correct!

In 2014, group 26~35 was the highest of all, but lost their first place to group 35~45.
>> In 2014, the age group 26~35 was the highest of all, but was overtaken by the 35~45 age group in 2018.

In contrast, group over 65 was the lowest in both year, not reaching over 15%
>> In contrast, the group over 65 was the lowest in both years, not reaching over 15%.

Moreover, all age group increases their online shopping range for four years. 
>> Moreover, all age groups increased their online shopping range for four years. 

In age group 35~45, almost 10% has added and reah the highest point of all the groups in 2018. 
>> In the age group of 35~45, almost 10% has added and reached the highest point of all the groups in 2018. 

In other hand, 26~35 group was slow, not more than 3%. 
>> On the other hand, the 26~35 age group was low with not more than 3%. 

While in group over 65, they reah lowest two times but the rate increases almost double from 7% to 12%.
>> While in the group of over 65, they reached the lowest two times but the rate increased almost double from 7% to 12%.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111990 Do you know of any interesting ways to explore your town or city? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 435
111989 HOMEWORK : Where do you prefer staying while on vaction ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 1
111988 Do you like fusion food? What restaurant would you recommend? ¼­*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 514
111987 Do you think family reunions are important? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 461
111986 What do you do to clarify something with your boss if he is... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 554
111985 Please write your thoughts about the popular statement,... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 424
111984 What factors influence a carreer choice? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 1
111983 Do you think you would be able to help your parents if you moved... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 879
111982 Homework ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 436
111981 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 549
111980 What are the hardest sounds (letters) for you to pronounce?... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 478
111979 IELTS speaking ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 5
111978 What is the best shopping experience you\'ve had? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 429
111977 What is you unforgettable dating experience? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111976 Maybe....June? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 439
111975 What are the traditional things that Koreans do during Chu Seok? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 369
111974 Sleeping ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 378
111973 page 62 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 387
111972 [Homework] What period of history would you like to go back and... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111971 page 53 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 487

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04