¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your idea of a perfect vacation? / What exotic foods do you want to try and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-08-19 478

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Mon
I think a perfect vacation is just taking a rest. So I can watch Netflix, play golf, and hang out with my friends. But I should improve my knowledges, therefore I have to study at least 4hours per day.

Wed
I want to try a scorpionida candy. It is a candy that has scorpionida in it. I think it is very unique, so I want to eat someday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^

Perfect vacation is from where you get energy to burn fuel after coming back, from where you have memories to cherish later when you are down, from where you can get to do what you like with no time limit. Good choice! :)

When we travel to different places, we can encounter different kinds of food. Some can also be exotic. It's sometimes nice to try new things. You can gain more experience through this. You choice is really nice by the way. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to try a scorpionida candy. 
>> I want to try Scorpion Ida candy. 

It is a candy that has scorpionida in it. 
>> It is a candy that has scorpion Ida in it. 

I think it is very unique, so I want to eat someday.
>> I think it is very unique, so I want to eat it someday.



I think a perfect vacation is just taking a rest. 
>> CORRECT

So I can watch Netflix, play golf, and hang out with my friends. 
>> So, I will watch on Netflix, play golf, and hang out with my friends. 

But I should improve my knowledges, therefore I have to study at least 4hours per day.
>> But I should improve my knowledge, therefore I have to study at least 4hours a day.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111791 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 421
111790 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111789 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111788 Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 376
111787 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 354
111786 Should a person work after graduation? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 619
111785 About Eldorado book À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111784 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 4
111783 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111782 Friday review! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 387
111781 9.8 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 1
111780 A thing what i bought made me happy best ever. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 624
111779 Why people are upset? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 321
111778 Hi Kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 6
111777 home work ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 347
111776 How to study English ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 0
111775 What is your country\'s weakness? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 1
111774 It\'s made me happy!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 867
111773 My role in some movie ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 496
111772 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 373

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04