¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-08-20 214

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Related with time management, students could have different feelings about studying at home.
The advantage of studying at home is students can manage their time well. Because they don¡¯t go to school, they could have more time to do other things instead of commuting. Therefore, students could learn how to manage their time and plan their schedules more properly when they are staying at home. In this point, studying at home could help self-directed students.
The disadvantage of studying at home is students can waste their time. In contrast of students who can set their plans, they tend to have no wills to live diligent. These people feel hard to plan their schedules and to live deliberately. They need knowledge for time management, and they have to be checked their plans by teachers until they are accustomed with planning.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ria!
^^,)
This is a very good composition. Thank you for finding time to accomplish your homework.
I can see that you tried you best to cite the advantage and disadvantage of studying at home.
You did a good job here! I truly appreciate your effort.

I hope you'll have a safe weekend. Good night!

__T. Mayleen :)


Related with time management, students could have different feelings about studying at home.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: Related with time management, students could have different reactions about studying at home.
The advantage of studying at home is students can manage their time well. 
>>> CORRECT
Because they don¡¯t go to school, they could have more time to do other things instead of commuting. 
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: They don¡¯t go to school, thus, they have more time to do other things instead of commuting. 
Therefore, students could learn how to manage their time and plan their schedules more properly when they are staying at home. 
>>> CORRECT
In this point, studying at home could help self-directed students.
>>> At this point, studying at home could help, self-directed students.
The disadvantage of studying at home is students can waste their time. 
>>> CORRECT
In contrast of students who can set their plans, they tend to have no wills to live diligent. 
>>> In contrast to students who can set their plans, some seem to have no will to live diligently. 
These people feel hard to plan their schedules and to live deliberately. 
>>> These students find it hard to plan their schedule and to live zealously.
They need knowledge for time management, and they have to be checked their plans by teachers until they are accustomed with planning.
>>> They need to learn time management and their teachers have to check their plans until they are accustomed to planning things independently.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110953 page 37 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 218
110952 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 160
110951 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 209
110950 How do you avoid stress and negative thoughts? Share your answer... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 161
110949 What do you do if someone asks you for money? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110948 home work on Aug 17 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110947 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 180
110946 My happiest moment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110945 Homework ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 192
110944 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110943 14th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110942 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 209
110941 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 219
110940 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 172
110939 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 6
110938 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 182
110937 Robots to Cook Soldiers\' Chow À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110936 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110935 What do you think about a Dutch treat? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110934 The special exhibition of the Hero ¡°Hong Bum-Do¡± in Bongoh... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04