¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-08-20 397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Related with time management, students could have different feelings about studying at home.
The advantage of studying at home is students can manage their time well. Because they don¡¯t go to school, they could have more time to do other things instead of commuting. Therefore, students could learn how to manage their time and plan their schedules more properly when they are staying at home. In this point, studying at home could help self-directed students.
The disadvantage of studying at home is students can waste their time. In contrast of students who can set their plans, they tend to have no wills to live diligent. These people feel hard to plan their schedules and to live deliberately. They need knowledge for time management, and they have to be checked their plans by teachers until they are accustomed with planning.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ria!
^^,)
This is a very good composition. Thank you for finding time to accomplish your homework.
I can see that you tried you best to cite the advantage and disadvantage of studying at home.
You did a good job here! I truly appreciate your effort.

I hope you'll have a safe weekend. Good night!

__T. Mayleen :)


Related with time management, students could have different feelings about studying at home.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: Related with time management, students could have different reactions about studying at home.
The advantage of studying at home is students can manage their time well. 
>>> CORRECT
Because they don¡¯t go to school, they could have more time to do other things instead of commuting. 
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: They don¡¯t go to school, thus, they have more time to do other things instead of commuting. 
Therefore, students could learn how to manage their time and plan their schedules more properly when they are staying at home. 
>>> CORRECT
In this point, studying at home could help self-directed students.
>>> At this point, studying at home could help, self-directed students.
The disadvantage of studying at home is students can waste their time. 
>>> CORRECT
In contrast of students who can set their plans, they tend to have no wills to live diligent. 
>>> In contrast to students who can set their plans, some seem to have no will to live diligently. 
These people feel hard to plan their schedules and to live deliberately. 
>>> These students find it hard to plan their schedule and to live zealously.
They need knowledge for time management, and they have to be checked their plans by teachers until they are accustomed with planning.
>>> They need to learn time management and their teachers have to check their plans until they are accustomed to planning things independently.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109959 Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 548
109958 A hotel ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 1
109957 Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 1
109956 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 499
109955 Describe the place where you grow up ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 640
109954 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 1
109953 South Korea to tweak visa policies and welcome more foreigners À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 0
109952 july twelfth Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 1
109951 Do you think the invention and rise of computers has been a good... °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 0
109950 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 0
109949 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 476
109948 How can CCTV\'s help reduce the incidence of crime? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-11 460
109947 Homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-11 629
109946 Homework 7.12 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-11 587
109945 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-11 632
109944 Who are the people you always help? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-11 1261
109943 Relationship ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-11 2
109942 What is your favorite way to practice your English? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-10 1
109941 If you are to start a business, what would that be and why? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-10 613
109940 Who is your idol and why? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-10 672

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04