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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I agree with that

작성자: 김*랑
2021-08-20 271

회원님의 영작문



Fashion makes people attractive! Because anyway, people look at clothes as the first impression. So I think fashion accounts for 50% of people's impression. But if fashion is so good, but a person's personality isn't good enough, it looks like unattractive at all. I'm in agree of fashion making people look attractive, but I think we should get rid of the stereotype that thinks that's all. If a person want to look attractive, if you do your best not only in fashion, than it will truly attractive. Just because they wearing expensive clothes doesn't mean that people's worth it. As the saying goes, don't judge a person based on appearance alone, clothes aren't everything ^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there Maria!

I agree one hundred percent to your answer. People should wear clothes and not the other way around. After all, clothes were made for our safety and comfort. If other people want to see us just dressed up nicely then  their intention to know of we are good people is gone.

Anyway, I saw that your schedule will be removed from mine. I hope that you study harder and speak really well with your next teacher. 

I will miss you. 

See you again next time!

-T. Donna =)

Fashion makes people attractive! 
>> Correct!

Because anyway, people look at clothes as the first impression. 
>> Because anyway, people look at clothes for their first impression. 

So I think fashion accounts for 50% of people's impression. 
>> Correct!

But if fashion is so good, but a person's personality isn't good enough, it looks like unattractive at all. 
>> Correct!

I'm in agree of fashion making people look attractive, but I think we should get rid of the stereotype that thinks that's all. 
>>  I agree that fashion makes people look attractive, but I think we should get rid of the stereotype that thinks that's all. 

If a person want to look attractive, if you do your best not only in fashion, than it will truly attractive. 
>> 
If a person wants to look attractive, if you do your best not only in fashion, then you will truly be attractive. 

Just because they wearing expensive clothes doesn't mean that people's worth it. 
>> Just because they wear expensive clothes doesn't mean that the people are worth it. 

As the saying goes, don't judge a person based on appearance alone, clothes aren't everything ^^
>> Correct!
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