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ielts task 1 bar graph

작성자: 이*구
2021-08-22 210

회원님의 영작문





The chart estimates the total number of minutes(in billions) of telephone calls in UK, dividing into three categories.

The most eye-catching part is the Local-fixed line. They are the highest above all. Starting from 70 billions in 1995, their amount rose steadily, reaching the highest point in 1999. Unfortunately, they started to fall slightly after that. At the end of the given year, they drop to 70 billions, return to where they have started.
Not like Local-fixed line, National and international-fixed line and Mobile grew their amount step by step. National and international-fixed line increase 3 to 5% every year, almost catching up to Local-fixed line in 2002 by reaching over 60 billion.
Moblie was the lowest and remain their place but their increase was dramatic. In 1995, they were no more than 3 billion. However, their growth was steady. By the 2000, they added 10 billion calls, reaching over 20. the next year, they increase approximately double and reach 40, same as National an

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Ian!

Thank you for sending me this IELTS answer to the chart/ Bar graph below. I am not sure if this a sample answer or your own answer but then there are a few grammatical suggestions I have made. 

As obviously shown on the chart, 1999 has the highest Local-fixed line and in the year 2002, it was the peak of National and international fixed line and Mobiles.

In short, take note of the most obvious and most remarkable characteristics of the graphs/ charts so that you can logically explain the remaining details. 

See you soon!

-T. Donna =)

The chart estimates the total number of minutes(in billions) of telephone calls in UK, dividing into three categories.
>> Correct!
OR: The chart estimates the total number of minutes(in billions) of telephone calls in UK, dividing into three categories. The chart estimates the total number of minutes(in billions) of telephone calls in UK, divided into three categories.

The most eye-catching part is the Local-fixed line. They are the highest above all. Starting from 70 billions in 1995, their amount rose steadily, reaching the highest point in 1999. Unfortunately, they started to fall slightly after that. 
>> Correct!
OR: 70 billion 

At the end of the given year, they drop to 70 billions, return to where they have started.
>> At the end of the given year, they dropped to 70 billion and returned to where they have started.

Not like Local-fixed line, National and international-fixed line and Mobile grew their amount step by step. National and international-fixed line increase 3 to 5% every year, almost catching up to Local-fixed line in 2002 by reaching over 60 billion.
>> Not like the Local-fixed line, National and international-fixed line and Mobile grew their amounts step by step. National and international-fixed line increased 3 to 5% every year, almost catching up to the Local-fixed line in 2002 by reaching over 60 billion.

Moblie was the lowest and remain their place but their increase was dramatic. In 1995, they were no more than 3 billion. However, their growth was steady. 
>> Mobile was the lowest and remained on its place but their increase was dramatic. In 1995, they were no more than 3 billion. However, their growth was steady. 

By the 2000, they added 10 billion calls, reaching over 20. the next year, they increase approximately double and reach 40, same as National and Mobiles.
>> By the year 2000, they added 10 billion calls, reaching over 20. The next year, they increased approximately double and reached 40 same as National and Mobiles.
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