무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The Death Toll In Denali Increases, Which Happens Normal Impatience

작성자: 홍*혜
2021-08-23 490

회원님의 영작문



Hello, Elsa.
Here is my homework.
I watched the movie you recommended.
Let's talk about it later.
Bye

Ange

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Ange,
How was the movie? I hope you like it.
Thanks for sending me your composition, by the way. ^^
~ Elsa
There have already been two death cases this season while North America’s highest peak, Denali, is normalized. The death accident of climbing on Denali is really rare recently.  There was one death accident in 2017. 
>> CORRECT.
Climbing permit was issued to total 984 people in 2021. 487 or half of the people had climbed until June and 44% had reached the top.
>>  A climbing permit was issued to a total of 984 people in 2021. 487 or half of the people had climbed until June and 44% had reached the top.
 Denali National Park expressed concern over the recently increasing death rate and said that there might have been causes for two new climbing trends.
>> CORRECT.
OR >>  Denali National Park expressed concerns over the recently increasing death rate and said that there might have been causes for two new climbing trends.
First, people started to climb from the previous camp (4,267 meters) rather than the previous final camp (5,182 meters). Second, a climbing party is disassembled for injury and any other reasons and tends to climb again with other climbing party met at the scene.
>> First, people started to climb from the previous camp (4,267 meters) rather than the previous final camp (5,182 meters). Second, a climbing party is disassembled for injury and any other reasons and tends to climb again with other climbing parties met at the scene.
Except for that reason, other reasons such as exhaustion, inexperiencing lofty mountain, sudden weather change and poor equipment cause the accidents. 
>>  Aside from that reason, other reasons such as exhaustion, being inexperienced in lofty mountains, sudden weather change, and poor equipment cause the accidents. 
The cases saved by national park rescue team Between early and mid-June were two people who were rescued from the tent blown by the strong wind, three rescued people who depart from the camp (4,267 meters) to the top and four people who showed signs of pulmonary edema while hurrying up to the top.  
>> The cases saved by the national park rescue team between early and mid-June were two people who were rescued from the tent blown by the strong wind, three rescued people who depart from the camp (4,267 meters) to the top, and four people who showed signs of pulmonary edema while hurrying up to the top. 
 The increasing number of population to reach the seven highest peaks causes the number of accident.
>>  The increasing number of population to reach the seven highest peaks causes the number of accidents.
 Denali peak is the only mountain where mountaineers climb with all their luggage among seven peaks. They divided a total of more than 45 kilograms of their luggage into six to four pieces on backpacks and sleds, which are unfamiliar to many people. 
>>   Denali peak is the only mountain where mountaineers climb with all their luggage among seven peaks They divide more than 45 kilograms of their luggage into six to four pieces on backpacks and sleds, which are unfamiliar to many people.  

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113424 For Jisun Oral Test 1 류*선 완료 2021-11-01 470
113423 Music 최*정 완료 2021-11-01 368
113422 Do you think people rely too much on technology nowadays? 양*빈 완료 2021-11-01 0
113421 How do you loosen up? 주*석 완료 2021-11-01 1
113420 slim\'s book 윤*진 완료 2021-11-01 3
113419 If i have a spend a time with famous person 이*은 완료 2021-11-01 604
113418 Tell me about your favorite sports. 권*윤 완료 2021-11-01 0
113417 It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be... 김*환 완료 2021-10-31 628
113416 What are the endangered animals in your country? 선* 완료 2021-10-31 484
113415 Homework 방*영 완료 2021-10-31 637
113414 Have you ever volunteered to help victims of natural disasters?... 선* 완료 2021-10-31 487
113413 My favorite restaurant 민*정 완료 2021-10-31 1
113412 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? 선* 완료 2021-10-31 928
113411 Advertisements of the e-mail 유*진 완료 2021-10-31 383
113410 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... 선* 완료 2021-10-30 429
113409 10 채*서 완료 2021-10-30 602
113408 8 채*서 완료 2021-10-30 377
113407 It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should... 황*하 완료 2021-10-30 418
113406 In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on... 황*하 완료 2021-10-30 769
113405 What are some effective ways to handle rejections? 김*국 완료 2021-10-30 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]