¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

21/08/18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2021-08-23 381

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies

It is just a private matter

But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency

For example, some people go to work and take selfies

When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Hyeon!
Don't forget to use punctuation marks. 
They are also essential in writing.
Your skills are improving every day.
The expression is clearer and more direct now.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies.
>> Correct
It is just a private matter.
>> Correct
But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency.
>> However, I think these people have a problem with its frequency.
For example, some people go to work and take selfies.
>> Correct
When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"
>> When somebody asks him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112352 What kind of help do you want now? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 469
112351 0929 ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112350 If you will be away from your family for three days, what would... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112349 speaking part-2(person) ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 439
112348 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 340
112347 9.28 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112346 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112345 Dear Debbie ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112344 ^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 373
112343 What delicious food can you make? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 453
112342 What food do you like to try to cook? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 414
112341 What\'s your fondest childhood memory? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 2
112340 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112339 What\'s your thought on your country\'s traditional holidays? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112338 present for parents. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 413
112337 Do children learn bad habit at school or at home? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 6
112336 HOMEWORK: What was the happiest moment of your life? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 459
112335 page 40 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 541
112334 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 448
112333 Hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 564

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04