¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

21/08/18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2021-08-23 241

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies

It is just a private matter

But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency

For example, some people go to work and take selfies

When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Hyeon!
Don't forget to use punctuation marks. 
They are also essential in writing.
Your skills are improving every day.
The expression is clearer and more direct now.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies.
>> Correct
It is just a private matter.
>> Correct
But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency.
>> However, I think these people have a problem with its frequency.
For example, some people go to work and take selfies.
>> Correct
When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"
>> When somebody asks him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111124 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 2
111123 Who is taller ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 285
111122 21/08/18 ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 241
111121 Seoul education chief hints at allowing more in-person classes À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 1
111120 Link for class contents ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 247
111119 The Death Toll In Denali Increases, Which Happens Normal... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 301
111118 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 227
111117 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 2
111116 will\'s offer À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 3
111115 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 3
111114 adventure things Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 257
111113 What do you do when something or someone tries to annoy you? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 370
111112 Homework(*^O^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 234
111111 The hardest thing to cook: Gimchi ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 314
111110 What were your best and worst trips? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 256
111109 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 343
111108 If I moved to another country, I would miss... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 297
111107 Can you remember the last gift you were given? Did you like it? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 1
111106 What festivals do you have in your city? Can you explain what... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 298
111105 ielts task 1 bar graph ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 354

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04