¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

21/08/18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2021-08-23 307

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies

It is just a private matter

But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency

For example, some people go to work and take selfies

When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Hyeon!
Don't forget to use punctuation marks. 
They are also essential in writing.
Your skills are improving every day.
The expression is clearer and more direct now.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies.
>> Correct
It is just a private matter.
>> Correct
But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency.
>> However, I think these people have a problem with its frequency.
For example, some people go to work and take selfies.
>> Correct
When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"
>> When somebody asks him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110603 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110602 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 309
110601 August 4th and 5th homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 488
110600 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110599 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110598 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110597 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110596 Email -2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 366
110595 Email -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 434
110594 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110593 Day 3 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 424
110592 Do you think the younger generation is much more progressive?... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110591 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110590 Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 290
110589 What do you think would happen if there was only one language in... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110588 Abandoned dog ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 363
110587 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 339
110586 10 page ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 264
110585 What do you think would happen if there was only one language in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 421
110584 What is the most challenging part of your job? What is the most... Çã*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 469

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04