¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

21/08/18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2021-08-23 326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies

It is just a private matter

But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency

For example, some people go to work and take selfies

When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Hyeon!
Don't forget to use punctuation marks. 
They are also essential in writing.
Your skills are improving every day.
The expression is clearer and more direct now.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies.
>> Correct
It is just a private matter.
>> Correct
But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency.
>> However, I think these people have a problem with its frequency.
For example, some people go to work and take selfies.
>> Correct
When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"
>> When somebody asks him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110305 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 536
110304 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 437
110303 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 0
110302 to work in other country ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 501
110301 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 394
110300 holiday ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 518
110299 Weightlifting in Tokyo Olympics ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 348
110298 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 370
110297 living on the beach. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 450
110296 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110295 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 281
110294 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110293 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 490
110292 I think offline class is more benefit to me*^^* ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 492
110291 Homework {07/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 410
110290 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 506
110289 My goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110288 What is your favorite celebration? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 333
110287 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 401
110286 What do you like about hiking? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04