¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

21/08/18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2021-08-23 407

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies

It is just a private matter

But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency

For example, some people go to work and take selfies

When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Hyeon!
Don't forget to use punctuation marks. 
They are also essential in writing.
Your skills are improving every day.
The expression is clearer and more direct now.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't know why some people dislike others who take selfies.
>> Correct
It is just a private matter.
>> Correct
But I think these people's matter is a lot of frequency.
>> However, I think these people have a problem with its frequency.
For example, some people go to work and take selfies.
>> Correct
When somebody ask him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day"
>> When somebody asks him or her "Why do you take selfies?", they say "It's my first day."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109853 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 501
109852 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109851 Give me one festival in your hometown that you enjoy the most. ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 422
109850 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 2
109849 My favorite sweets treats are Twix, and ABC chocolate. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 660
109848 What do you like most about Korea? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 391
109847 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 484
109846 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 522
109845 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 550
109844 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 0
109843 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 2
109842 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 6
109841 How Tattos Went Mainstream in Korea À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109840 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109839 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109838 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109837 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109836 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 3
109835 Argue À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 428
109834 What are the ways people with problems sleeping can do to help... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 669

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04