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Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-08-23 440

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There is saying "Failure teaches success". Most successful people always say that people should not be afraid of failure and it is better to give it a try than not to do it, even if the result is not what we expected. In fact, it is hard to overcome from the failure but we have seen enormous people who overcome hard time and then, be a leader on their professional area. Parents in Korea encourage children to learn anything from sports to arts and a lot of subjects which affect their future life. There are many negative effect caused by private education however, I believe that these trial make children strong because they would put more efforts to be successful after permitting mistakes. There is nobody who success without trial and error. I know the importance of education but just imagine how babies learn when they grow up. They make a lot of mistakes and then learn how to act, eat and communicate. As parents, there is many situation that I would be upset because of my children but i

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Good morning Mr. Hwang~! ^^ Thanks for your opinion on your essay. Keep writing! Keep learning! 
TEACHER GEMMA
There is a saying "Failure teaches success".
>>> CORRECT
 Most successful people always say that people should not be afraid of failure and it is better to give it a try than not doing it, even if the result is not what we expected. 
>>>  Most successful people always say that people should not be afraid of failing and it is better to give it a try than not doing it, even if the result is not what we were expecting.
In fact, it is hard to overcome from the failure but we have seen enormous people who overcome hard time and then, be a leader on their professional area. 
 >>> In fact, it is hard to overcome failures but we have seen enormous people who had overcome hardships and then became a leader on their professional area. 
Parents in Korea encourage children to learn anything from sports to arts and a lot of subjects which affect their future life. 
>>> Parents in Korea encourage their children to learn something from sports to arts and a lot of subjects that would affect their future life. 
There are many negative effect caused by private education however, I believe that these trial make children strong because they would put more efforts to be successful after permitting mistakes. 
>>> There are many negative effects being caused by private education however, I believe that these trials can make the children stronger because they would put more efforts to be successful after committing mistakes. 
There is nobody who success without trial and error. 
>>> Nobody becomes successful without trial and error. 
I know the importance of education but just imagine how babies learn when they grow up. 
>>> CORRECT
They make a lot of mistakes and then learn how to act, eat and communicate. 
>>> CORRECT
As parents, there is many situation that I would be upset because of my children but i
>>> As parents, there are many instances where I would get upset because of my children but I...

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