¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*Çý
2021-08-24 351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello, Elsa.
How are you?
It rains heavily here in Korea. What about you country?
Here is my homework.
Thank you for checking it.
See you later
Bye~

Ange

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ange!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage


Direct real estate brokers startups such as Ziptos, DawinJunggae have received attention and existing real estate advertising platforms such as Jikbang have expanded their business, which casts war clouds in the real estate brokerage market.

>> CORRECT!

The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agent's fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agent commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash. 

>> The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agents' fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agents' commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash

It is reported that Some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

>> It is reported that some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

What could people do for this dispute to lead to developmental results in real estate market? 

>> CORRECT!

The answer is that real estate brokers shouldn¡¯t be satisfied with the current situation.

>> CORRECT!

If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which run through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

>> If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which runs through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

It is time to make improvements on real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

>> It is time to make improvements on the real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110211 Homework (310) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 253
110210 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 1033
110209 Hi Kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 4
110208 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 0
110207 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 522
110206 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 369
110205 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 1
110204 Internet, and Youtube ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 425
110203 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 379
110202 A caffeine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110201 Being parents ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 533
110200 Page 39 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 496
110199 Monday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 351
110198 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 291
110197 How do you control your anger? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 2
110196 The reason why °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 480
110195 Friday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 422
110194 home work on July 21 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110193 Nice to meet you, sir! ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 468
110192 What do you think about taking a nap? How about sleeping in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04