¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*Çý
2021-08-24 365

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello, Elsa.
How are you?
It rains heavily here in Korea. What about you country?
Here is my homework.
Thank you for checking it.
See you later
Bye~

Ange

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ange!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage


Direct real estate brokers startups such as Ziptos, DawinJunggae have received attention and existing real estate advertising platforms such as Jikbang have expanded their business, which casts war clouds in the real estate brokerage market.

>> CORRECT!

The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agent's fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agent commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash. 

>> The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agents' fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agents' commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash

It is reported that Some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

>> It is reported that some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

What could people do for this dispute to lead to developmental results in real estate market? 

>> CORRECT!

The answer is that real estate brokers shouldn¡¯t be satisfied with the current situation.

>> CORRECT!

If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which run through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

>> If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which runs through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

It is time to make improvements on real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

>> It is time to make improvements on the real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109897 Hyundai Pharm seeks approval for abortion pill À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109896 Is being poor a valid reason to commit crime? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 396
109895 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 286
109894 Is being poor a valid reason to commit crime? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 0
109893 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 442
109892 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 402
109891 Facility ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 3
109890 Thursday diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109889 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 403
109888 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109887 How would you want to spend a long holiday? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 395
109886 conversation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 310
109885 What is the beginning of conversation? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 488
109884 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 499
109883 What illegal trade does your country have? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109882 What kind of support should children give their aging parents? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 504
109881 homework on July 7 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 2
109880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109879 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 0
109878 What one thing do you want to change about yourself? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 475

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04