¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*Çý
2021-08-24 398

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello, Elsa.
How are you?
It rains heavily here in Korea. What about you country?
Here is my homework.
Thank you for checking it.
See you later
Bye~

Ange

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ange!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage


Direct real estate brokers startups such as Ziptos, DawinJunggae have received attention and existing real estate advertising platforms such as Jikbang have expanded their business, which casts war clouds in the real estate brokerage market.

>> CORRECT!

The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agent's fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agent commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash. 

>> The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agents' fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agents' commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash

It is reported that Some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

>> It is reported that some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

What could people do for this dispute to lead to developmental results in real estate market? 

>> CORRECT!

The answer is that real estate brokers shouldn¡¯t be satisfied with the current situation.

>> CORRECT!

If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which run through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

>> If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which runs through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

It is time to make improvements on real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

>> It is time to make improvements on the real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109426 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 526
109425 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 592
109424 Eldery Koreans Become More Independent À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109423 Hoework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 559
109422 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 401
109421 An expensive price ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 3
109420 Do you think that appearance is so important? ÃÖ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 413
109419 Two drugs - alcohol and tobacco - are considered to be (only)... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 505
109418 Please tell me about the place you grew up in. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109417 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109416 Which kind of greeting is annoying or weird for you? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 449
109415 The best thing of our country À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 507
109414 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2
109413 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 547
109412 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109411 What are the latest trends in your country? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 478
109410 What are your favorite mood-boosting activities? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2
109409 Do you believe in the saying; \"Blood is thicker than water\"? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109408 What was your best travel experience so far? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-15 624
109407 What should one do when there is a third party in a relationship? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-15 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04