¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*Çý
2021-08-24 409

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello, Elsa.
How are you?
It rains heavily here in Korea. What about you country?
Here is my homework.
Thank you for checking it.
See you later
Bye~

Ange

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ange!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage


Direct real estate brokers startups such as Ziptos, DawinJunggae have received attention and existing real estate advertising platforms such as Jikbang have expanded their business, which casts war clouds in the real estate brokerage market.

>> CORRECT!

The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agent's fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agent commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash. 

>> The government which agrees with public opinion that current estate agents' fees are levied excessively announces the plan of decrease in the rates of estate agents' commission fees, which grows brokers¡¯ backlash

It is reported that Some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

>> It is reported that some brokers are closed temporarily against the government¡¯s announcement. 

What could people do for this dispute to lead to developmental results in real estate market? 

>> CORRECT!

The answer is that real estate brokers shouldn¡¯t be satisfied with the current situation.

>> CORRECT!

If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which run through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

>> If people don¡¯t break the structure of the real estate brokerage market which runs through collusion, there is no such thing as a result without fairly competitive ways. 

It is time to make improvements on real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

>> It is time to make improvements on the real estate brokerage market that the public can accept.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109321 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 661
109320 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 614
109319 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 4
109318 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 481
109317 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 478
109316 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 539
109315 An apple a day keeps the doctor away ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 2
109314 Celebrities call on G7 to share vaccines with poor nation ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 570
109313 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 757
109312 Is voting an important responsibility of a citizen? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 631
109311 Is voting an important responsibility of a citizen? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 0
109310 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 0
109309 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 743
109308 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 603
109307 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 541
109306 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 776
109305 Write your effective tips to meet deadlines. ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109304 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109303 One of the hardest decisions is to bid farewell to your company?... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 781
109302 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04