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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts task 2

작성자: 이*구
2021-08-25 423

회원님의 영작문





In many countries, lots of companies have established. Some became international companies and they compete to provide their customers cheaper, developed products. This is important because its not just good for customers but also good for the countries economy.
But if theres a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial waste also came out during the process, such as pollution water or useless materials.
Not every companies treat this garbage in right way. For example, some companies pull out their polluted water to near by river and throw useless materials on the ground. This an harm nature and damage nearby communities.
In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform into a garbage. As the develop continues in fast pace, these cycle happens rapidly and this fasten the harm on the nature.
However, the world has changed. In the past, comp

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Ian!

The arguments you made here are very good! Your introduction was solid and the body and discussion is very substantial. I have placed some suggestions in black color so that you can locate them easily. 

I hope that you can complete typing the rest of the answer as I do not have much time to copy them below. Please send me the remaining part then? Thank you for working hard always.^^

-T. Donna =)

In many countries, lots of companies have established. Some became international companies and they compete to provide their customers cheaper, developed products. This is important because its not just good for customers but also good for the countries economy.
>> In many countries, lots of companies have been established. Some became international companies and they compete to provide their customers cheaper, developed products. This is important because its not just good for customers but also good for the countries' economy.


But if theres a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial waste also came out during the process, such as pollution water or useless materials.
>> But if there's a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial wastes also come out during the process, such as polluted water or useless materials.

Not every companies treat this garbage in right way. For example, some companies pull out their polluted water to near by river and throw useless materials on the ground. This an harm nature and damage nearby communities.
>> Not every company treats these garbage in the right way. For example, some companies pull out their polluted water to nearby river and throw useless materials on the ground. This can harm nature and damage nearby communities.

In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform into a garbage. As the develop continues in fast pace, these cycle happens rapidly and this fasten the harm on the nature.
>> In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has been produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform them into a garbage. As the development continues in a fast pace, this cycle happens rapidly and this hastens the harm in nature.

However, the world has changed. In the past, comp
>> Correct!
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