¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Why is honesty important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-08-25 276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



HOMEWORK(Claire)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Claire!

Good Job on your composition. See you tomorrow! ^^

 

Honesty is what humans must possess and one of the important elements that organize our society.

>>CORRECT

I will show why honesty is important through few examples.

>>I will show why honesty is important through a few examples.

Honesty is a duty that must be possessed as a matter of course.

>>Honesty is a duty that must be possessed as a matter of fact.

First, not being honest is as same as that person isn¡¯t ethical. For example, you were walking by the street and found a purse with money in it.

>>First, not being honest is as same as not being ethical. For example, you were walking by the street and found a purse with money in it.

If you are honest with yourself, you are going to give it back to the owner. But if you are not, maybe you are going to steal it.

>>CORRECT

This example shows the difference between honest people and people who are not and the connection between honesty and morality.

>>CORRECT

Accordingly, not being honest means that a person isn¡¯t living a moral life.

>>CORRECT

Second, deceiving can damage people.

>>CORRECT

Crimes like fraud give people economic damages.

>>CORRECT

There are lots of crimes that are related to deceiving somebody.

>>CORRECT

We can know that deceiving gives people many damages.

>>We can realize that deceiving people ruins people's lives.

I believe that honesty is a duty for people who are belonged to society.

>>I believe that honesty is a duty for people who belong in a  society.

Honesty is one of the elements that organize a good society. If members of society are not honest, our society will lose its credibility.

>>CORRECT

Even only one society member being not honest, other society members will collapse like dominoes.

>>Even if only one society member is being not honest, other society members will collapse like dominos.

Society is a system of organization of every people on Earth. Therefore even a single person be not honest, everyone will be influenced.

>>Society is an organized of every people on Earth. Therefore even if only a single person is not honest, everyone else will be influenced.

And that¡¯s why every single member of society is important. Also if we live an honest life, many crimes such as fraud will naturally be faded. These kinds of crimes are all related to honesty.

>>And that¡¯s why every single member of society is important. Also if we live an honest life, many crimes such as fraud will naturally disappear. These kinds of crimes are all related to honesty.

Following these reasons, being honest is one of the most important parts of making a convincing society. We can be honest with ourselves.

>>CORRECT

Many people try to fit others nowadays. But if we are honest with ourselves, we may respect not only our opinions and thought but others' thoughts too.

>>Many people try to fit in with others nowadays. But if we are honest with ourselves, we may respect not only our opinions and thought but others' thoughts too.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111679 If you could have a robot to do your chores, what would you... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111678 The West ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 261
111677 27th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111676 Should there be strong punishment against racism? °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 217
111675 HOMEWORK FOR 09.07 ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111674 What do you think the most common crime in your country is? Do... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 216
111673 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111672 Ninja vs samurai À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 197
111671 How long do you study before your exam? Please tell me about... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 216
111670 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 0
111669 What is the best thing about your neighborhood? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111668 What kind of people do you like best? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 225
111667 How do movie reviews affect your interest in a certain movie? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 193
111666 special restaurant Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 199
111665 What age do you want to be a mother? Why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111664 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 5
111663 page 33 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 172
111662 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 205
111661 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 225
111660 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 221

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04