¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Why is honesty important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-08-25 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



HOMEWORK(Claire)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Claire!

Good Job on your composition. See you tomorrow! ^^

 

Honesty is what humans must possess and one of the important elements that organize our society.

>>CORRECT

I will show why honesty is important through few examples.

>>I will show why honesty is important through a few examples.

Honesty is a duty that must be possessed as a matter of course.

>>Honesty is a duty that must be possessed as a matter of fact.

First, not being honest is as same as that person isn¡¯t ethical. For example, you were walking by the street and found a purse with money in it.

>>First, not being honest is as same as not being ethical. For example, you were walking by the street and found a purse with money in it.

If you are honest with yourself, you are going to give it back to the owner. But if you are not, maybe you are going to steal it.

>>CORRECT

This example shows the difference between honest people and people who are not and the connection between honesty and morality.

>>CORRECT

Accordingly, not being honest means that a person isn¡¯t living a moral life.

>>CORRECT

Second, deceiving can damage people.

>>CORRECT

Crimes like fraud give people economic damages.

>>CORRECT

There are lots of crimes that are related to deceiving somebody.

>>CORRECT

We can know that deceiving gives people many damages.

>>We can realize that deceiving people ruins people's lives.

I believe that honesty is a duty for people who are belonged to society.

>>I believe that honesty is a duty for people who belong in a  society.

Honesty is one of the elements that organize a good society. If members of society are not honest, our society will lose its credibility.

>>CORRECT

Even only one society member being not honest, other society members will collapse like dominoes.

>>Even if only one society member is being not honest, other society members will collapse like dominos.

Society is a system of organization of every people on Earth. Therefore even a single person be not honest, everyone will be influenced.

>>Society is an organized of every people on Earth. Therefore even if only a single person is not honest, everyone else will be influenced.

And that¡¯s why every single member of society is important. Also if we live an honest life, many crimes such as fraud will naturally be faded. These kinds of crimes are all related to honesty.

>>And that¡¯s why every single member of society is important. Also if we live an honest life, many crimes such as fraud will naturally disappear. These kinds of crimes are all related to honesty.

Following these reasons, being honest is one of the most important parts of making a convincing society. We can be honest with ourselves.

>>CORRECT

Many people try to fit others nowadays. But if we are honest with ourselves, we may respect not only our opinions and thought but others' thoughts too.

>>Many people try to fit in with others nowadays. But if we are honest with ourselves, we may respect not only our opinions and thought but others' thoughts too.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111095 My name ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 1
111094 home work on Aug 18 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 0
111093 2nd homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 8
111092 What is the hardest thing to cook? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 6
111091 Why do some people love eating spicy food? Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 206
111090 Do you like to travel to work or to enjoy? Share your answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 1001
111089 8.20 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 2
111088 53 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 205
111087 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 271
111086 49 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 593
111085 I agree with that ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 183
111084 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 0
111083 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 0
111082 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 224
111081 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 1
111080 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 272
111079 Page 48 and 53 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 242
111078 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 346
111077 Homework {08/20} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 230
111076 Who is taller? ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 177

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04