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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework(*0v0*)

작성자: 정*희
2021-08-26 308

회원님의 영작문

I appreciate the festival culture that villagers enjoy wearing Japanese traditional clothes such as kimono.
Unfortunate about Korea is that there is a wonderful traditional clothes and festival in Korea, but in modern times, those cultures are gradually forgotten.
I like 'Hanbok' the most among Korea cultures. This is because I think the 'Hanbok' contains the beauty and emotions of Korea.
In the past, we used to wear 'Hanbok' during the holidays like New Year's Day, Chuseok, but these days, we don't have opportunities to see and wear 'Hanbok' because people prefer the comfortable clothes.
Recently, some schools are trying to protect traditional Korean clothes by changing school uniforms into modernized 'Hanbok'.
The reason why I value Japanese festival culture is that it is remembered as a familiar and enjoyable culture to the present by wearing traditional clothes often and enjoying traditional festivals, not just an old culture,

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Jessica! 
Thank you for your homework. I've always found the Japanese kimono and the Korean hanbok so beautiful. I agree that it's nice that the Japanese still enjoy wearing their kimono. I'm surprised that Koreans don't wear hanboks as often. The hanbok looks so beautiful and elegant. 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 
I appreciate the festival culture that villagers enjoy wearing Japanese traditional clothes such as kimono.
>> I appreciate Japanese festivals as villagers enjoy wearing traditional Japanese clothes such as the "kimono."
Unfortunate about Korea is that there is a wonderful traditional clothes and festival in Korea, but in modern times, those cultures are gradually forgotten.
>>An unfortunate thing about Korea is that, despite having wonderful traditional clothes and festivals, these practices are being gradually forgotten. 
I like 'Hanbok' the most among Korea cultures. 
>> I like the hanbok the most among all the Korean traditions. 
This is because I think the 'Hanbok' contains the beauty and emotions of Korea.
>> CORRECT. 
In the past, we used to wear 'Hanbok' during the holidays like New Year's Day, Chuseok, but these days, we don't have opportunities to see and wear 'Hanbok' because people prefer the comfortable clothes.
>>In the past, we used to wear the 'hanbok' during holidays like New Year's Day and Chuseok but these days, we don't have opportunities to see and wear the 'hanbok' anymore because people prefer comfortable clothes.
Recently, some schools are trying to protect traditional Korean clothes by changing school uniforms into modernized 'Hanbok'.
>>CORRECT.
OR>> ...trying to preserve traditional Korean clothes...
The reason why I value Japanese festival culture is that it is remembered as a familiar and enjoyable culture to the present by wearing traditional clothes often and enjoying traditional festivals, not just an old culture,
>>The reason why I value Japanese festival culture is that it preserves their customs by encouraging people to wear traditional clothes and enjoy traditional festivals. 

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