무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK: Is it possible to avoid conflicts totally in our life? Why or why not?

작성자: 박*연
2021-08-29 416

회원님의 영작문



HOMEWORK(Claire)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Claire!

Great job with your composition today. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


We can’t avoid conflicts in our life. I will present some reasons that will support my following opinion.

>>CORRECT!

Social life consists of conflicts and resolutions. Society is organized with various kinds of people and we can’t be the same.

>>CORRECT!

People have different backgrounds, knowledge, conditions, and etc. The best example that shows us the conflicts of people is a debate.

>>People have different backgrounds, knowledge, conditions, and etc. The best example that shows us the conflicts among people is a debate.

Many different people gather and share their opinions about a particular topic. But are the opinions toward the topic is the same?

>>Many different people gather and share their opinions about a particular topic. But are the opinions toward the topic the same?

No, the opinions are be decided based on people's experiences in their life. Each people have different experiences in their life and that is why there are conflicts.

>>No, the opinions are decided based on people's experiences in their life. Each people have different experiences in their lives and that is why there are conflicts.

If many opinions gather toward a topic, people assert that their opinion is right. This example doesn’t only validate in a debate but our social life.

>>If many opinions gather toward a topic, people assert that their opinion is right. This example doesn’t only apply in a debate but also in our social life.

Conflicts happen even when we choose the menu on restaurant or discuss where to travel.

>>Conflicts can happen even in choosing the menu in a restaurant or discussing where to travel.

Also, we can prove this opinion by thinking of a family. Family is a small but social community too.

>>Also, we can prove this taking the family as an example. Family is a small but social community too.

Family is the closest social community but there are always conflicts because it is a social community. For instance, let’s suppose that you want to go to the amusement park with your parents.

>>CORRECT!

But they have plenty of works to do so they can’t promise you about visiting an amusement park. You got upset and cry. Your parents saw it and they also felt sorry for you.

>>But they have plenty of work to do so they can’t promise you to visit amusement park. You get upset and cry. Your parents see it and they also felt sorry for you.

In this situation, both parents and you got upset. Parents are upset about the reality that they can’t visit the amusement park with you and you got upset that you can’t visit the amusement park. This is an emotional conflict.

>>In this situation, both parents and you get upset. Parents are upset about the reality that they can’t visit the amusement park with you and you got upset that you can’t visit the amusement park. This is an emotional conflict.

Emotional conflicts usually happen in relationships such as relationships with your friends. Thus, everyone who had experienced social life must have experienced conflicts likewise. People speak in their stance.

>>Emotional conflicts usually happen in relationships such as with your friends. Thus, everyone who has experienced social life must have experienced conflicts likewise. People speak in their stance.

Each people have a different social position. And this affects conflicts because when people speak in the stance of their position, they might misunderstand what they were meaning to.

>>Each person has a different social position. And this affects conflicts because when people speak in their position, they might misunderstand what they mean.

We call this situation misunderstanding. If misunderstanding occurs frequently, conflicts will occur often too.

>>CORRECT!

And if we speak in the stance of our social position, many people won’t understand what we truly mean. In order to understand other people, we need to experience their situation.

>>CORRECT!

But in the case of social position, we can’t experience one’s social position. And we are talking in a stance of our social position, we won’t understand each other. We are being placed in a situation of different kinds of conflicts like examples above.

>>But in this case, we can’t experience firsthand one’s social position. And if we are talking in the stance of our own social position, we won’t understand each other. We are being placed in a situation of different kinds of conflicts like the examples mentioned above.

But we can still decrease the number of times we get into the situation of conflicts.

>>But we can still lessen the number of times we get into  conflicts.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
109659 What is the purpose of summer camp? 김*민 완료 2021-06-28 454
109658 Imagine that you would be writing a complaint letter about your... 김*정 완료 2021-06-28 1
109657 Do you like change? 박*경 완료 2021-06-27 453
109656 Why do people avoid talking about politics? 김*국 완료 2021-06-27 2
109655 What are you eating nowadays? 권*희 완료 2021-06-27 449
109654 Bill that could add four holidays this year gains traction 유*진 완료 2021-06-27 1
109653 My cell phone 민*정 완료 2021-06-26 2
109652 HOMEWORK 김*연 완료 2021-06-26 371
109651 What do you feel when you see good looking people? 안*윤 완료 2021-06-25 1
109650 Describe the set up of an ideal family. (In your own idea or... 김*수 완료 2021-06-25 530
109649 My favorite poem 이*하 완료 2021-06-25 619
109648 Email 3 김*영 완료 2021-06-25 540
109647 Email 김*영 완료 2021-06-25 502
109646 Email 김*영 완료 2021-06-25 395
109645 Homework 강*아 완료 2021-06-25 457
109644 My favorite mystery story is . 김*랑 완료 2021-06-25 546
109643 Did you enjoy festivals better when you were still younger or do... 여*진 완료 2021-06-25 0
109642 Hello buddy 심*식 완료 2021-06-25 528
109641 What is a very important thing to remember when driving a car?... 최*수 완료 2021-06-25 454
109640 What are some things about the eating habits you want to change? 김*연 완료 2021-06-25 528

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]